“These kids don’t deserve to go to Disney World next week,” I could hear my subconscious telling me. And to be fair, it had been a rough night. I was trying desperately to get dinner on the table quickly as I watched three kids fall apart because they were starving.
“Please put on your shoes and socks and get your bag for Girl Scouts,” I begged Lia over and over and over… to no avail. As she cried that she couldn’t put her shoes on, her brother tormenting her only added to her spiraling frustration. Once dinner was on the table, Max was whining about how he doesn’t like chicken fajitas and Lia was complaining about eating her peas. Ava was up from the table about forty two times.
And of course, we were late out the door for Girl Scouts and horseback riding lessons. Lia was still angry about something and screaming in the car. Ugh.
It was in that moment I heard those terrible words in my head… “These kids don’t deserve to go to Disney World next week.” I knew immediately that I didn’t believe it to be true. So where do thoughts like this even come from? As I drove, I thought about it. My whole life I’ve struggled with self worth. I have a really hard time believing that I deserve the life I have… even though I know I’ve worked so so hard to build this life.
The awful voice in my head that tells me I’m not enough and that I don’t deserve wonderful things is spilling over to my kids… telling me they don’t deserve wonderful things. But they do… even though they misbehave and whine and throw fits and drive me crazy some days, they deserve all of my love and all of the wonderful experiences that I can give them. Especially Disney World. P.S. It’s a surprise, so please don’t mention it if you happen to see them!
So I guess what I’m realizing is that I’m going to have to shut that voice down completely. I can’t let it bully me anymore… This is where you come in. If you’ve struggled with self worth and you’ve found something, anything that has helped you on your path to overcoming that, please share it with me.We spent last week in Phoenix at the What If Conference and I came home feeling full. And brave. And I think it’s time.
P.S. Registration for What If 2015 is now open. Becoming a part of the What If community has been the single best thing we’ve ever done in our lives (besides getting married to each other and having babies obviously!). If you’re a creative entrepreneur who wants to change the world (or you have to dreams to become one), this is the conference for you.
