My purpose with this post is to help busy moms and dads find a quick relief from whatever causes any stress in their life. I hope you all see that meditation has countless benefits, can take as much or little time as you want to devote to it, and there’s no way of doing it wrong. In our overstimulating world filled with stress, smartphones, marketing everywhere, facebook, stress, deadlines, work, stress, meditation is the one thing guaranteed to offer you relief.
I started my meditation practice a few years ago. It involved just sitting down uncomfortably and trying to focus on my breath. Which was really, REALLY hard to do and didn’t work out very well for me. Being a (loving) husbnd, father of 3, and owner of 2 businesses, my mind would instantly drift towards my to-do list within 10 seconds. I’d try and push the thoughts out and focus on my breath, but my mind would always tell me there’s more important things I should be doing with my time than nothing (or meditating, at the time I thought meditating meant doing nothing).
And, that’s when I knew I needed to keep meditating. It’s not healthy for us to be on the go go go all the time. We’re wearing ourselves so thin it’s killing us. And, honestly, it’s unnecessary.
My meditation practice has taught me so much. I’ve learned thoughts will always come and go, and that’s ok. Our mind never stops working, but when you get deep into a meditation, you’ll find yourself able to quiet the mind for a few brief moments, and you’ll feel bliss. I’ve found I’m better able to cope with the stress that comes from such a busy life.
Side rant: Gosh, I really dislike the the word, busy. It’s my choices to pursue all the things I do. No one is forcing me to be busy, and I love what I do. End rant.
I’m a calmer person when I’ve been consistently meditating. When the kids get into their arguments (What? our kids don’t ever fight!), or start whining (What? our kids don’t whine!), or throwing their epic fits like Ava did this morning because she didn’t want to put her shoes on (What? our kids don’t throw temper tantrums!), I’m better able to stay calm and find a more peaceful solution (What? I NEVER yell at my kids!). Side note: Any text inside parentheses is sarcasm. I figure any time I’m solving a problem without just screaming at my kids is probably a good thing, right? And, we all know raising kids is sometimes frustrating.
Meditation has put me in direct contact with the Divine. The wisdom/creativity/random thoughts that come when I give my mind a break consistently blow me away. I feel an overwhelming sense of LOVE, and I know I’ll never fully understand all the ways the world is connected, how we’re all connected to the same life force, but that’s ok. Through meditation, I’ve become more comfortable with the unknown.
Now, I know what you’re saying, that’s all fine and dandy, Josh, but how do you find the time to meditate? I’ve got lunches to make, meals to cook, errands to run, a job or two or three, and I have to find time to workout. Not to mention I want to spend time with my loved ones. How can I possibly find the time for even one more activity?
And, I’d say this…start with 2 minutes. 2 minutes is all you need to calm the mind. When you’re comfortable with 2, move up to 5 minutes a day. If you never progress past 5, that’s ok, too. I know your mind/body/soul appreciates any break you can give it.
Heck, if even 2 minutes sounds like too much, just close your eyes and take 3 deep, full breaths. Go ahead, right now. On your inhale, say to yourself, “Breathing in, I know I am breathing in.” On your exhale, “Breathing out, I know I am breathing out.” I guarantee you’ll feel just a little bit more relaxed. (Thanks to Thich Nhat Hanh for that quick exercise)
Now that you’re back, calm and relaxed a bit we’ll continue. The beauty of meditation is there’s no wrong way to do it. I got hung up on that for the longest time. I’d sit down, try and focus on my breath and all that would be running through my head was that I was doing it wrong. I’ll repeat, it’s NOT possible to meditate incorrectly. You also can’t OVER meditate yourself (is that even a saying?). Pretty sweet, right? Something that you can never do too much of, and you can’t do it wrong. How many other areas/things in life can you say that about?
Now, I wake up at 5:30am most mornings. The first thing I do is come downstairs, throw a comfy pillow on the ground, grab my phone, some good headphones and fire up my Brainwave app. I get comfy on my pillow and meditate for 20 minutes. I’ll then journal, because my mind is so free and open and I want to make sure I jot all those wonderful thoughts down somewhere. In fact, this post was started in my journal yesterday right after meditating. I’ve learned practicing my morning solitude better equips me to deal with the “I’m hungry’s! Make me breakfast!” and “I’m TIRED! I don’t want to go to school today!” that my kids shout the second they wake up every single morning. I then try and meditate again for 20 minutes in bed right before I go to sleep. I can’t think of a better way to end the day then by giving the mind a break before drifting off to dreamland.
Enough about me, though. I want to help you start and keep a meditation practice. There are many types of meditation. I’m no expert in any of them. I just speak from my personal experience with the different types. For this post, I’ll mention 4.
- Binaural Beat Meditation – This is my favorite way to meditate. From the BBM website, “Binaural beats work by sending a different sound frequency to each ear through headphones. Binaural beats recreate brain (wave) states, and are able to bring about states such as meditation, heightened creativity, increased focus and concentration, reduced anxiety, sleepiness and general relaxation. The process happens by itself, inside the brain. The only requirements are for the recordings to engineered properly, and for the listener to put on a pair on headphones, relax and press play. It’s that easy.” I have found a few apps that I absolutely LOVE that I use daily. There are 2 apps I use that are put out by Brainwave. One is called Zen Meditation, the other is just called Brain Wave. Zen is just meditation, and Brain Wave is full of 30 different programs to help increase focus, creativity, reduce stress and even get rid of headaches. I feel any kind of meditation is good for increasing focus, creativity and reducing stress, but the science of binaural beats states that there are different sound frequencies that are better for each. I mainly use the Zen app, but occasionally use the Brain Wave one to help power nap
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- Metta Meditation (or Loving-Kindness Meditation) – I’m fairly new to Metta meditation (thanks, Natalie!), but I LOVE it so far. Metta meditation involves practicing loving kindness towards yourself, then to friends, enemies and ending with the world. It’s incredibly freeing to try. I found some really solid free guided metta meditations here. I transferred the mp3′s to my phone for more comfortable listening (there’s something magical about listening to sounds through good headphones).
- Pranayama Breathing – I use the Pranayama breathing technique with the kiddos. We use this Pranayama app. I googled to find out the best way to explain Pranayama, but I got REALLY confused. Know this, it’s literally breathing deeply, kind of like you’d do in a yoga class. It’s easy to follow along with the breathing app. You follow a series of prompts to inhale, hold, exhale, hold. That’s it. Super relaxing.
- Transcendental Meditation – I have no personal experience with Transcendental Meditation other than some friends who swear by it. To really do it right, it costs money. But my friends love it, and I trust their judgement.
Do you meditate? Care to share any tips with us in the comments? If you don’t meditate, and plan on starting, let me know how it goes!
